A New Journey

When I was younger, all I wanted to be was a mommy. I've been fascinated with the process of pregnancy since I was about 8 years old. We had a science book that contained some of Lennart Nilsson's in-utero photography (if you've never seen his pics, look him up- they're amazing). Seeing those tiny little cells grow into tiny little humans, to me, was magic. So much so that my chosen field of work revolves around pregnancy and childbirth.

I used to dream about the days when I would carry my own children. Imagine my delight when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Then I discovered that pregnancy, for me, was as magical as I dreamed it would be. Yes, I am one of those disgusting women that loves being pregnant. Pregnancy certainly isn't perfect, but I think that all the discomforts and inconveniences are far outweighed by the experience of growing new life.

Through all my happy experiences, I've had friends, co-workers, and patients who have not had happy or easy pregnancies, or have not been able to carry a pregnancy at all. I have always seen surrogacy as a valid means of reproductive aid for those who cannot carry a pregnancy on their own. After I had Aiden- a healthy term pregnancy with no complications- I decided that surrogacy was something that I wanted to do. The feeling grew over my next two pregnancies, as I continued to have healthy pregnancies.

There are many things that I can't, or don't, do in this life. I can grow healthy babies. I feel like growing a baby for a couple who is unable is giving the gift of life and family. My family is my world- why wouldn't I want to help give that to someone else? Chris wasn't sure about the whole thing at first, but we've done a lot of talking over the years. He's seen how much I enjoy pregnancy (and heck, I even enjoy the delivery process), and he knows for himself how precious our family is. During my last pregnancy, he agreed with me that this was something we could do for another family.

My plan was to start looking into the whole process when Finn was about 18 months old. Then, this past summer, I had some medical issues that looked as though they might interfere with my plan. I was crushed, and mourned the possibility of a surrogate pregnancy almost as much as I might have mourned the thought of never having another child of my own. That surprised me; I didn't know that I was so attached to the idea. But just yesterday, my doctor gave me the thumbs up, and said that another pregnancy would be safe.

Chris and I were both pretty excited over the news. I don't know how long the whole process takes from the very beginning, but hopefully I'll find out soon. We emailed a surrogacy clinic that is here in town last night.

Here's to the very beginning of a new journey. Hopefully it's one we will see to the end.